Finding The Way Home
by Whispering Mink
Summary: The 14th awakes in Allen. Still half conscious, Allen flees from the black order to protect the one person he loves – Lenalee. But what will happen when the black order, including Kanda, is sent after him? can love and friendship still exist in his heart?
1. No Goodbye

**Finding the Way Home**

**Chapter 1: "No goodbye"**

**Summary: **The14th awakes from the inside of Allen. Still half conscious, Allen flees from the black order to protect the one person he loves – Lenalee. Aware of this fact the black order, including Kanda, is sent after Allen in order to kill him if necessary. But can love still exist in a confused Noah's heart? Or will the emotions turn him to the worse if the 14th takes over completely? – The rating may change later

**A/N:** _Hello out there ^^ I have been very active in writing fan fiction for the Ulquihime pairing. But! Since I thought it was about time I 'donated' to other series as well, I have thrown myself towards Allen/Kanda x Lenalee. This fic is dedicated to my closest friend who really wanted to read a -man fic from me ^^_

_All others enjoy as well ^^_

"_Do you want… power… Allen Walker?"_

Allen slowly opened his eyes when the way too familiar voice was ringing in his head – keeping him from the otherwise comfortable state of sleep.

"_I said; do you want power… Allen Walker?"_

His eyelids fluttered when he blinked a couple of times – making sure that he was indeed awake and was not simply sleeping.

The voice had become a lot stronger. At first it was just a simple whisper, like a small breeze of fleeting words, but now the voice had grown stronger, clearer, and more real, to the extent that the voice alone could wake him up from an otherwise deep dream.

It frightened him – not so much because he knew whom the voice belonged to, but because he knew that before long he would not have a choice to refuse the words anymore. The small temptations, the promising words and the soft voice that always lingered in his head would soon be too much… There was no way helping it and no way stopping it.

The predictions would become true… the 14th would take over completely… It was just a matter of time.

Barely pushing the luring voice back in the darkest corners of his mind Allen left his bed – kneeling down on the cold stone floor when trying to gather the little bag he knew was placed under his bed.

There was no way around it anymore.

When he had gathered the most important things he could think of, he left his room with small silent steps.

At first his eyes had to get used to the dark, but none the less he managed to get down the hallway by following the cold stone walls with his hands – the delicate voice still whispering poisonous words when his thoughts drifted too far away.

The last thing he wanted was to hurt the person he loved…

There was no redemption if he chose to do nothing.

------------------

How could someone look so beautiful when sleeping?

Even though he did not like to stalk upon a vulnerable girl sleeping like her, he had chosen to throw such emotions away. After all he needed to see her. Just see her for a last time.

'Vulnerable'? Was that even the right word to describe her?

Allen smiled a bit when Lenalee shifted lightly in her bed – lying with her front against him and the soft curves of her hair cascading at her bare shoulders.

Even though he knew she wasn't weak like he made her seem like, he always felt like she could use his protection. Maybe he was just selfish. After all she was more than well capable of protecting herself from most of the dangers directed at her.

When he thought about it, the only danger that was genuinely threatening her was born out of his presence. Not from the normal Akuma's but because of the enemies that were directly targeting him and the ones he was involved with.

The persons he cared for and… loved…

_We can protect her together?_

Allen's right hand quickly flew to his head when the voice returned – stronger than he had experienced it for a long time.

_They won't have a chance to hurt her if we stand together_

"Stop speaking…"

He murmured lowly in an attempt not to wake Lenalee from her state of sleep.

He had long ago given up on discussing with the 14th and his words – after all he knew they were simply illusions as long as he chose to see them as illusions and the crucial moment was when he began to believe in the words. Reach out for the empty promises.

When that happened Allen knew it would be too late to turn back.

A small huff escaped his lips as he suppressed the voice once again – quickly letting his gaze linger at Lenalee once again – taking in everything.

Her eyelids as they fluttered slightly, the steady heaving of her body as she breathed, the small pleased noises that was probably brought from a dream, taking her in with his eyes for one last time.

He would never have the opportunity to touch her again, love her genuinely, or do more than observe her with the care he already did. But he accepted this fact by reminding himself that it was for her own good.

If he touched her too much she would simply break, if he loved her too much she would be smothered and get in danger, and if he cared for her too much it would simply hurt both of them more than it already did.

She was worth so much more than a life in misery, worth so much more than a life in danger…

With these words engraved in his mind he slowly began to leave Lenalee's room – the soft sound of his shoes hitting the floor resounding in the room.

He simply couldn't utter the word 'goodbye' to her.

Because he knew that would be a lie. They would see each other again sooner of later… he could feel it.

Maybe not immediately, but sooner or later he knew the 14th would bring him to her.

Reunite them once again when the time was right.

Descending into the dark depths of the night he left the black order – hoping to never meet Lenalee again.

Because he knew that if they ever met again, the innocence they both treasured would be gone.

--------Lenalee POW----------

"Allen-kun?"

She slowly lifted her body from the soft linen of her bed – feeling the heaviness most people experienced when they suddenly woke up from an otherwise deep state of sleep.

Sleepily rubbing her eyes, she looked around her room only to discover that she was alone.

"Allen… Kun?"

She murmured again in wonder of why the words had left her mouth in the first place. She had felt Allen's presence rather strongly and somehow expected to see his face upon opening her eyes… but fate wouldn't allow her that pleasure, so instead her dark blue eyes was met by the endless darkness of her room only barely lit by the moonlight from the nearby window.

Was she beginning to hear things?

She slowly lowered her body again, covering herself with the bed sheets when the cold atmosphere hit her bare skin… before very long drifting to sleep unaware of what had just happened, unaware of the absence from a certain white haired boy, and unaware of what events that soon would follow her.

Innocence and unawareness is sometimes better than knowing too much.

**A/N: **_I'm updating whenever I get the time so please look out for it ^^ Reviews are appreciated as always_


	2. Confrontations in the hallway

**Finding the Way Home**

**Chapter 2: "Confrontations in the hallway"**

**Summary: **The14th awakes from the inside of Allen. Still half conscious, Allen flees from the black order to protect the one person he loves – Lenalee. Aware of this fact the black order, including Kanda, is sent after Allen in order to kill him if necessary. But can love still exist in a confused Noah's heart? Or will the emotions turn him to the worse if the 14th takes over completely? – The rating may change later

**A/N: **_Hello again, enjoy the new chapter and merry Christmas x)_

_+ thanks to __ who pointed out my mistake with Lenalee's eye color ^^_

"Allen is… gone?"

She blinked her eyes in disbelief, completely taken back by Kanda's words.

He had caught her on her way to Komui's office – grabbing her gently by the shoulder and swung her over when she apparently had been walking in her own thoughts.

It was surprising her that he was already fully dressed in his exorcist clothing and with his characteristic katana swinging by his side.

All she got was a small confirming nod from him – his dark blue eyes digging into hers without much wavering.

"What do you mean gone?! He can't just disappear like that?!"

She exclaimed, ultimately showing the confusion she so deeply felt about the situation, however Kanda seemed pretty much unaffected by it, simply speaking to her in the same calm voice he so often used in front of her.

"He disappeared this night, he has used his bed but since we don't exactly have guards to keep people inside of the black order it wasn't much trouble for him to get out"

Kanda crossed his arms, huffing slightly when continuing to speak.

"That kid!, he isn't exactly making his current situation any better"

Lenalee looked down into the ground – tracing the dark stones under her feet as an attempt to not look Kanda in the eyes, and shielding herself from the truth he spoke.

Why would Allen do something like that? They all knew he was very vulnerable at the moment, so why leave so suddenly?

If he had spoken to someone and told about his reasoning to leave the situation would have been completely different… because now the black order probably thought that the 14th had awakened, making him flee of his own free will…

The thought scared her a bit, simply because she knew what would happen if they concluded that was the reason for his disappearance.

"Kanda…?"

She asked softly, tracing her eyes up to his once again upon asking

"Do you know the black orders reaction to all of this?"

She assumed they already knew about it, when taking into consideration that Kanda was informed at such an early point, and the fact that he already wore his uniform made her suspicion grow to the worse – if that was even possible.

Kanda just stared at her for a couple of moment without answering – analyzing the cores of her eyes in search of something.

When she didn't get an answer she spoke again, this time more desperate to get the answers she craved for;

"I don't think Komui will allow me to know anything about the situation"

She rubbed her arm nervously, having a hard time to keep her eyes at Kanda who just seemed to listen and gaze back at her

"He's probably scared of my reaction…"

A soft laugh escaped her lips.

"But I'm not a child anymore… I want to know"

---------Kanda POW---------

Kanda's eyes followed every inch of Lenalee's form when she asked for the current situation in the black order.

He almost found it sad that she couldn't get the answers from her own brother, even though he, to some extent, could put himself in Komui's shoes.

Sometimes it was best to stay ignorant if the truth was too much…

However, respecting Lenalee's wish, he chose that it was best for her to know

"I'm probably not the best person to tell you but…"

He held a small break, trying to find the most gentle way to tell her – a big thing for him to even consider

"The black order has ordered special squads to search for him. If he is found hostile or with any signs of being conveyed into the 14th … we have orders to kill"

Not wanting to see or hear her reaction he turned around – walking away faster than what seemed natural of him to do. To hear her plead or reaction to his words wasn't something he wanted to experience at the moment…

"Wait!"

He stopped when Lenalee's voice resounded in the hallways – Why did he even stop?

"Do you really want to… kill Allen?"

Silence filled the room when the words had left her mouth, leaving Kanda with the most obvious question in history…. turned completely around when spoken from the tip of Lenalee's lips.

Normally he would have answered 'of course' or 'Bean sprouts aren't even worth a life" …

However he couldn't make himself utter the words.

Instead he answered completely honest for once, walking away with heavy steps in fear of screwing up more than he had already done.

"If it becomes necessary"

----------Allen POW-----------

The wind was hitting his face hard – turning his otherwise pale cheeks slightly red from the impact.

_Why in such a hurry?_

He sighed softly when the voice rang in his mind again.

_There is no reason to leave everything behind like that_

A soft laugh escaped Allen's lips before he ventured down the little hill he was standing on – his feet feeling like lead from all the walking he had done

"But you know, if I didn't left like I did, something terrible would just have happened"

His voice was as it used to be; calm and filled to the brink with false joy – trying to deny the situation he was brought into… however, Just thinking about what kind of mess he had made by leaving so suddenly, made his otherwise perfect mask of joy crumble slowly.

He hoped inwardly that a certain person wasn't taking it personally...

If he had a choice he would never have left. No, there were too many things he loved about the black order and the people which resided there.

However there had been no choice… his selfishness of lingering at old emotions and memories would only bring blood before very long.

Blood that he didn't wanted to spill at any cost.

**A/N: **_Reviews are appreciated ^^ Hope you enjoyed reading_


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